after "I do"

Sometimes, relationships are hard

There is one thing every married person will tell you: marriage is hard.  The “honeymoon” may be bliss, but once life settles in, challenges are inevitable.  Every relationship is different, but the difficulties are often the same.  Here are five common problems that can follow “I do”.

Communication

Poor communication is at the heart of most relationship troubles.  Feeling misunderstood or not heard by your partner is a common complaint. Sometimes the ‘simplest’ things like listening and communicating are the hardest to do.   Good communication is a skill you can learn and all your relationships will benefit. 

Boundaries

Once married, it’s pretty common for one spouse to try and change the other. Whether it’s their fashion sense, their hobbies, or their fundamental beliefs, trying to change your spouse can leave them feeling disrespected, hurt, or even angry.   Marriage is always a time for careful and sensitive negotiation. 

Intimacy

Different people have different physical needs and sexual drives. Sometimes these problems don’t become apparent until long after the honeymoon is over. Many couples stick their head in the sand and hope problems with intimacy go away - they rarely do.

Infidelity

There are many reasons for infidelity and one in two marriages will be affected by this betrayal. Different couples cope in different ways. Sometimes it is the end of a relationship, sometimes it is an opportunity to heal and grow and the start of something better.

Trust

Without trust, a healthy marriage cannot exist.  When a spouse cheats, lies, or breaks a promise, it can be devastating to the relationship and trust is broken. Restoring trust is no easy task and both partners must be committed to repairing the relationship. To love is to be willing to take a risk and to be vulnerable.

When a relationship is struggling, some couples find walking away to be easier than facing their problems.   Others stay and try to ignore the problems, hoping they will go away – unfortunately, they never do.  Every relationship has its ups and downs and not all marriages can or should be saved.  

If your relationship is important, think of your relationship difficulties as an opportunity for you to reach out, meet the challenge and take your relationship to the next level.  You can hire a personal trainer to get fit - so why not get some help to improve and strengthen your relationship.  Getting perspective and someone who can point you in the right direction can make all the difference - That’s where a clinical psychologist comes in.

Working with a clinical psychologist can help foster good communication, heal past emotional injuries, identify bad habits and turn a troubled relationship into a great one.  Yes, marriage can be hard, but nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.  Life is too short to settle for anything less.

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